I recently had a phone call with a woman who, by all accounts, had built a wonderful life with her husband and family.
She spoke about her children and grandchildren with pride. She and her husband are both very healthy, worked hard over the years, maintained close family relationships, and built a life they were deeply grateful for.
As we talked, I said something I often find myself saying:
“You are healthy and you have done very well. Don’t take that for granted. I hear so many difficult situations.”
She paused and replied:
“I pinch myself every day.”
That comment stayed with me.
In elder law and estate planning, we often meet families during difficult moments. Health issues, financial concerns, and/or family stress force difficult decisions that sometimes need to be made quickly and under pressure.
But we also speak with many families who aren’t currently in challenging situations and have done well. They are healthy, financially stable, and surrounded by strong family relationships.
Ironically, those are often the families who believe they may not need planning. After all, if everything is going well and everyone gets along, what is there to worry about? The reality is that estate planning is not just for families in crisis. It is also about protecting the life you have built and making things easier for the people you love.
Even in the best family situations, important questions still need clear answers:
- Who would handle financial matters if one spouse suddenly became ill or passed away?
- Who would speak with doctors or make medical decisions in an emergency?
- How will assets pass to children?
- Can probate be avoided or simplified?
- Are accounts and beneficiary designations properly organized?
- What happens if long-term care is needed years down the road?
During our conversation, we also talked about helping one of their children with a future home down payment. A generous and meaningful gift—but also the kind of decision that requires careful planning.
- Should the gift be documented?
- Will similar gifts be made to other children in the future?
- How might this impact long-term planning if healthcare needs arise later in life?
These are not negative conversations. They are practical ones. They are about bringing clarity, staying organized, and making life easier for the next generation.
Most estate planning is ultimately about that: making things easier for your spouse, your children, and eventually your grandchildren. It is about reducing stress and avoiding confusion during moments when clarity matters most. Families who are doing well sometimes delay planning because life feels stable. But stability is exactly what creates the best opportunity to plan thoughtfully, while everyone is healthy and able to participate in the decisions.
The families who say, “I pinch myself every day,” are often the ones who benefit most from having a proper estate plan in place. Not because there is a crisis today, but because they worked hard for what they have, and want to protect it for the people they love.
As an aside: When I think about the work I get to do day in and day out, both now and over the past decades, I often think of the phrase “do well by doing good.” And I suppose I also “pinch myself” from time to time to make sure it’s not all a dream.
Anthony Falco, ESQ
CEO/Founder Falco and Associates P.C.
